Christmas Tree Memories

I’ve been busy decorating the house for the Holidays. This might seem a waste of time as we always go north to be with our boys and grandchildren but I love holiday decorations. My widowed mother never did much for the holidays as she didn’t have the money, energy or inclination. She came from a poor family in Kentucky and holidays and birthdays were never observed. Money was scarce and presents and a tree were not necessities. When we got old enough my older brother and I earned money by running errands or doing small chores for the neighbors and would pool our resources and get a small tree which we would decorate with popcorn chains and homemade trinkets.  Many times our tree would make Charlie Brown’s look lavish but to us it was always the most beautiful tree we had ever seen.
After I got married and had a family we always had a real live tree. Those trees have become part of our Christmas tradition. As we sit around the tree somebody always starts telling about the time we bought a tree full of pine cones. It was a lovely natural touch but as we were entertaining family and friends at our annual open house on Christmas Eve things really started popping and I do mean popping. The heat had caused the cones to open and start shooting their seeds across the living room. Our guests thought that they were under attack by some unknown enemy. Everyone was dodging and the children were rolling on the floor in imitation of war casualties. Then there was the time I was having a party for the faculty of my school and I had taken great pains in decorating the tree. About half hour before the quests were due to arrive we heard a horrible bang and when we investigated we found the tree on the floor with the cat struggling to get himself untangled from the mess. With guests due to arrive any minute all we could do was prop the tree up and toss the ornaments on haphazardly. It was one miserable looking tree.
Everyone’s favorite story is the year mom returned the tree! I had stopped at a tree lot on my way home from work and I saw the perfect tree. It was tall and slender with perfect needles. The lot attendant held it up and it stood tall and straight or so it seemed. When I got it home and my husband tried to put it in the stand it kept listing about 45 degrees to port. No matter what we propped it up with it still leaned like a drunken sailor. We sawed and propped and sawed some more but nothing was going to make that tree stand straight. Finally I grabbed all the sawed off limbs and threw the poor thing into the back of the truck. That sucker was going back to the lot and I was going to either get another tree or my money back. My husband said he’d drive me but there was no way he would get out of the truck. You simply did not return a Christmas tree. It was unheard of but I had paid $35 for that tree and there was no stopping me. The lot attendant offered me another tree but they were all in worse shape than the one I was returning. At first he refused to return my money. You didn’t return a Christmas tree. He wasn’t obligated to warranty trees he said. It took a little persuasion and the threat that I would let the children in my classroom know that his lot didn’t carry Santa approved trees but I got my $35 back and he let me keep what was left of the crooked tree.
Now my tree is artificial and very bedraggled and it is decorated with ornaments that bring back memories of people and Christmases past. The best are ornaments from children I’ve had in my class. Some have the child’s name and the year. They aren’t shiny any more and some are cracked and frayed but each one has a story to tell.

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Predjudice Rears its Ugly Head

The other day a friend stopped by and we began discussing the pros and cons of a new development that will be built at the entrance to our neighborhood. That particular piece of real estate has been an eyesore for over fifteen years. We had hoped and campaigned for a greenway but that fell through and now a developer had bought the property and was proposing to build an office condo complex or residential condos. The neighborhood association had recently done a poll and the results had been in favor of the offices with small businesses such as coffee shops, barber shops etc. on the bottom level. So this was what we were discussing but it was what came out of my mouth that has me wondering about my prejudices and values.

I preferred the upscale residential condos and went on to explain that since the area surrounding us was predominantly Hispanic that the offices and businesses would cater to that cliental and I could visualize young hoods hanging out at the stores and the possibility of gang activities. I presented my viewpoint in a clear precise manner and promptly forgot about it until a few days later when I was passing the proposed site. Then I suddenly remembered what I had said and worse, I remembered with a jolt and utter shame that my friend is Cuban American and his wife is from Ecuador. He and his wife are good friends and the thought of their ethnic backgrounds never occurred to me. If anyone asked me if I was prejudiced I would have answered a resounding NO but those words were definitely prejudicial. Although I would never judge an individual by their race or ethnic background I had a preconceived view of a group of individuals. It’s a preconceived stereotyped view of certain ethnic groups fed not only by my WASP heritage but also by the media. When a crime is reported, the news media will invariably mention the race or ethnic background of the perpetrator if they are other than white. A criminal is a criminal no matter his race so why mention it.

Unfortunately, I am not the only one who is inflicted by this insidious form of prejudice. I see it and hear it frequently usually prefaced by; “I have some very good friends who are black, Hispanic etc.” Some might call this benign prejudice as these are people who would never discriminate against an individual for their race or beliefs. These are people who would never participate or condone active racism – would they? I wonder how many of those who stood by and let the holocaust happen were inflicted with benign prejudice?

Although, I always speak out when I hear any type of malicious prejudice, I’m usually silent when I hear someone stereotype a particular group. So I’m apologizing for my part in this and plan to watch what I say. Prejudice in any shape or form is dangerous.

I'm old but am I different?

Until a few days ago I had never read a blog. Then I saw a reference to one in an article I was reading and decided to check it out. This led to my browsing through different blogs. Some I found interesting and thought provoking and others of interest only to the writers but one had a sentence that immediately caught my attention and led me to pondering about people's perceptions of others and that ultimatly led to my deciding to start my own blog.

The blog I'm referring to was by a thirty something soccer mom and she was talking about some of the blogs that were written by senior citizens. She was saying how interesting they were and she recommended a few that she had enjoyed. Now there's nothing wrong with that but it was her statement that others should read these blogs by senior citizens if they wanted to learn about a different lifestyle. Now, admittedly, I'm a little sensitive about my age and her attitude is one of the reasons. What makes her think that just because I've gotten to be seventy that my lifestyle is that much different than hers .

Maybe my appearance is different as the perception is that age brings wrinkles, sags and gray hair, but gray hair doesn't always mean advanced age - Steve Martin for example, plus I bet there's a bottle of Clairol in many a thirty-something's bathroom. As for the wrinkles etc botox and plastic surgery have eliminated that perception look at Joan Rivers, Burt Reynolds and more than likely your neighbor down the street. The blue-haired bingo goer isn't even used as a steretype in ads anymore. In fact if Demi Moore and Mary Tyler Moore are any indication of what's going on out there we could well end up being your kids' stepmom.

Let's get back to lifestyle. This perception that my lifestyle would be so different just because I'm a senior citizen that it would be of interest to others to study has me stumped. Too bad that Margaret Mead didn't know about this wealth of anthropological studies in her own backyard. It would have saved her from having to endure all that discomfort in Samoa. Now it's true that Soccer Mom's life revolves around her job, her kids and maybe a husband but according to statistics an alarming number of children are being raised by grandparents and even great-grandparents who shuttle children back and forth to activities plus they have gone back to work to put food on the table and clothes on the backs of these children. Even if we do not have the burden of grandchildren we are very likely caring for OUR parents who are living into their 90's and 100's. My mother is 93 and my husband's is 100. There is not a lot of difference in caring for a 3 year old and a 93 year old with dementia. So Soccer Mom enlighten me. How is my lifestyle so different from yours?

Hello

Hello, I'm new to blogging and I'm still trying to sort everything out. I'm looking forward to sharing my thoughts and ideas with anyone who happens to stumble upon this blog. If you happen to be the stumbler, I hope that you'll drop me a note and let me know something about you or direct me to your blog.