Christmas Tree Memories

I’ve been busy decorating the house for the Holidays. This might seem a waste of time as we always go north to be with our boys and grandchildren but I love holiday decorations. My widowed mother never did much for the holidays as she didn’t have the money, energy or inclination. She came from a poor family in Kentucky and holidays and birthdays were never observed. Money was scarce and presents and a tree were not necessities. When we got old enough my older brother and I earned money by running errands or doing small chores for the neighbors and would pool our resources and get a small tree which we would decorate with popcorn chains and homemade trinkets.  Many times our tree would make Charlie Brown’s look lavish but to us it was always the most beautiful tree we had ever seen.
After I got married and had a family we always had a real live tree. Those trees have become part of our Christmas tradition. As we sit around the tree somebody always starts telling about the time we bought a tree full of pine cones. It was a lovely natural touch but as we were entertaining family and friends at our annual open house on Christmas Eve things really started popping and I do mean popping. The heat had caused the cones to open and start shooting their seeds across the living room. Our guests thought that they were under attack by some unknown enemy. Everyone was dodging and the children were rolling on the floor in imitation of war casualties. Then there was the time I was having a party for the faculty of my school and I had taken great pains in decorating the tree. About half hour before the quests were due to arrive we heard a horrible bang and when we investigated we found the tree on the floor with the cat struggling to get himself untangled from the mess. With guests due to arrive any minute all we could do was prop the tree up and toss the ornaments on haphazardly. It was one miserable looking tree.
Everyone’s favorite story is the year mom returned the tree! I had stopped at a tree lot on my way home from work and I saw the perfect tree. It was tall and slender with perfect needles. The lot attendant held it up and it stood tall and straight or so it seemed. When I got it home and my husband tried to put it in the stand it kept listing about 45 degrees to port. No matter what we propped it up with it still leaned like a drunken sailor. We sawed and propped and sawed some more but nothing was going to make that tree stand straight. Finally I grabbed all the sawed off limbs and threw the poor thing into the back of the truck. That sucker was going back to the lot and I was going to either get another tree or my money back. My husband said he’d drive me but there was no way he would get out of the truck. You simply did not return a Christmas tree. It was unheard of but I had paid $35 for that tree and there was no stopping me. The lot attendant offered me another tree but they were all in worse shape than the one I was returning. At first he refused to return my money. You didn’t return a Christmas tree. He wasn’t obligated to warranty trees he said. It took a little persuasion and the threat that I would let the children in my classroom know that his lot didn’t carry Santa approved trees but I got my $35 back and he let me keep what was left of the crooked tree.
Now my tree is artificial and very bedraggled and it is decorated with ornaments that bring back memories of people and Christmases past. The best are ornaments from children I’ve had in my class. Some have the child’s name and the year. They aren’t shiny any more and some are cracked and frayed but each one has a story to tell.

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Predjudice Rears its Ugly Head

The other day a friend stopped by and we began discussing the pros and cons of a new development that will be built at the entrance to our neighborhood. That particular piece of real estate has been an eyesore for over fifteen years. We had hoped and campaigned for a greenway but that fell through and now a developer had bought the property and was proposing to build an office condo complex or residential condos. The neighborhood association had recently done a poll and the results had been in favor of the offices with small businesses such as coffee shops, barber shops etc. on the bottom level. So this was what we were discussing but it was what came out of my mouth that has me wondering about my prejudices and values.

I preferred the upscale residential condos and went on to explain that since the area surrounding us was predominantly Hispanic that the offices and businesses would cater to that cliental and I could visualize young hoods hanging out at the stores and the possibility of gang activities. I presented my viewpoint in a clear precise manner and promptly forgot about it until a few days later when I was passing the proposed site. Then I suddenly remembered what I had said and worse, I remembered with a jolt and utter shame that my friend is Cuban American and his wife is from Ecuador. He and his wife are good friends and the thought of their ethnic backgrounds never occurred to me. If anyone asked me if I was prejudiced I would have answered a resounding NO but those words were definitely prejudicial. Although I would never judge an individual by their race or ethnic background I had a preconceived view of a group of individuals. It’s a preconceived stereotyped view of certain ethnic groups fed not only by my WASP heritage but also by the media. When a crime is reported, the news media will invariably mention the race or ethnic background of the perpetrator if they are other than white. A criminal is a criminal no matter his race so why mention it.

Unfortunately, I am not the only one who is inflicted by this insidious form of prejudice. I see it and hear it frequently usually prefaced by; “I have some very good friends who are black, Hispanic etc.” Some might call this benign prejudice as these are people who would never discriminate against an individual for their race or beliefs. These are people who would never participate or condone active racism – would they? I wonder how many of those who stood by and let the holocaust happen were inflicted with benign prejudice?

Although, I always speak out when I hear any type of malicious prejudice, I’m usually silent when I hear someone stereotype a particular group. So I’m apologizing for my part in this and plan to watch what I say. Prejudice in any shape or form is dangerous.